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Marriages Take Work and Faith


Let us be committed to making our marriages work.

It seems that nearly everything in American culture and society is trying to destroy our marriages. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would conclude there is a conspiracy to destroy the Biblical family unit however possible.

Whatever the reasons our modern marriages are failing and not even getting started, the fact is they are more than is acceptable. I want to fight this modern trend by encouraging people to value marriage and do what it takes to make them work.

I understand how hard it can be, as I’ve been married for around 10 years now and my wife and I both came from dysfunctional and broken families. Even with guidance from our faith in the Holy Bible, we have had many difficulties and challenges along the way threatening to thwart our marriage for good.

Praise God, we are still together through the challenges.

I will say it takes two people who are committed to staying together. If one person isn’t willing to make it work, even when the other person is doing the right thing and trying, then sadly there is nothing that one person can do to make it work.

If we do the right thing whether or not our spouse is doing the right thing, then we can often win their hearts back to the marriage, yet I realize in some cases this may not be enough.

God does tell us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If we find ourselves coming to the faith while in a marriage with an unbeliever, we are told to stay with them if they are willing to be with us. Hopefully, your faith will help convert them.

Lately, the topic of working on marriage has come up for me. My wife and I were having some difficulties and I searched online and found Pastor Jimmy Evans who teaches about marriage. His teachings have been very helpful to me and my wife. I’ll share a video of his where he teaches the four laws of marriage below the post.

Another helpful media item was the movie Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. My wife and I watched this the other night and found it greatly inspiring. You can rent it on YouTube:




Being married isn’t easy and it doesn’t just run on autopilot. We have to work on our marriages to make them work the way God intended. While I still don’t know exactly what this means, I’m determined to learn along the way.

Thankfully, I have a great wife who is committed to her faith in Jesus and to our marriage. Most of the time we get along great, yet we can’t take that for granted because this will lead to problems.

One thing I’m realizing is working on our marriage means I’m working on myself. It isn’t about fixing the other person, it is about fixing myself.

If we do the right thing even when our spouse isn’t, then we’ll find the key to breaking through the problem.

Jesus loved us when we were doing wrong, so we are supposed to do the same.

As men, we are supposed to love our wives as Jesus loves the church. The women are to reverence their husbands and submit to their leadership.

If we do our part, the spouse will naturally want to do theirs.

The movie Fireproof portrayed a realistic scenario of modern marriages. It showed the seemingly impossible circumstances of finding solutions to save the marriage. Then, it showed the process of how this was resolved; this wasn’t an easy process and it doesn’t always work as we want.

The process of doing the right thing even when the other person isn’t, shows us how to be a Christian. The Christian walk is to bless those that curse us, love our enemy, and forgive those who trespass against us, even when they are unrepentant.

This doesn’t mean we have to put up with abuse or have the person in our lives — we need to have good boundaries, yet if it is our marriage partner and there is a chance to save the marriage, we need to try our best to live these Christian teachings.

Being at odds with our spouse weakens us and causes dysfunction in the family. On the other hand, being united in our efforts and loving each other makes us strong and brings cohesion to the family unit.

Everyone who has been married for long enough knows how painful it can be to fight with your spouse. The pains and trouble bringing this fighting must be dealt with constructively — they can not be left to fester undealt with.

The good news is there are constructive ways to deal with marriage difficulties if each person is willing to try. Maybe, at first, only one person is willing to try to do the right thing, yet this will likely lead to the other doing the same as well.

The Bible says divorce is only acceptable when someone is unfaithful, and common sense tells us separation needs to happen when someone is repeatedly being physically or sexually abused as well — this isn’t a marriage worth keeping.

Betrayal through adultery is one of the worst things a spouse can do to another. The pain this causes is one of the worst a human can endure. This is why God pointed it out as an acceptable reason for divorce.

This goes back to being unequally yoked together. Christians need to marry a spouse that believes in the Bible as they do — not a fake believer, a real believer. This will alleviate many problems down the road, as both people fear God and put Jesus above everything.

Jesus Christ needs to be the center of the marriage. He is the Word made flesh, so studying and following the Word of God is key. The inspired versions of the Bible are the Word of God (KJV, Majority Text).

Marriage Stats

Survive Divorce explains the percentage of first marriages that end in divorce are 50%, second marriage 60%, and third marriage 73%.

Statista marriage stats show us how many unmarried adults are in the U.S.; it is almost as many that are married.

Marital status of the U.S. population by sex 2021 | Statista

Bowling Green State University shows us how marriage rates have rapidly declined since 1970, from 76.5 to 28 per 1000.

Marriage Rate in the U.S.: Geographic Variation, 2021

I don’t think I even need to show these stats to most Americans, as we know how bad it is getting concerning broken marriages. Stats only tell us so much, the reality of our daily lives and those around us tells us more.

In addition, just look at the mainstream culture and society to see how it values marriage. The battle is real.

Conclusion

I just want to encourage readers to stick in there and work on your marriages. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. If God put you together with your spouse to say your marriage vows to them, then there is a reason for it.

Maybe it seems impossible and maybe it won’t work out, yet we don’t want it to be from a lack of trying and doing the right thing on our part. Seek marriage counseling, stop your addictions, read some books, watch Jimmy Evans, watch Fireproof, and continue to fight the good fight of faith!

Jimmy Evans:


Hopefully, this encourages someone out there and I pray in Jesus name that God saves your marriage from the onslaught of divorce and destruction the devil is working to cause in your life. With God, all things are possible.

Originally published at Medium

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